Connecting with Your Body to Regulate Your Nervous System: Practical Tips for the Modern Human
In today’s busy world, it’s easy to feel disconnected from your body. Whether you’re balancing school, parenting, or running your own business, the demands of life can push us into states of stress and overwhelm. But what if the key to feeling calm and centered was already within you?
Your nervous system plays a huge role in how you respond to stress, and learning how to regulate it can be a game-changer. Understanding the science behind this—and practicing simple tools like somatic awareness, deep breathing, and body movement—can help you navigate life’s challenges with more ease.
The Nervous System & Polyvagal Theory: What Happens When We're Stressed
Let’s start with a bit of science. Our nervous system has two primary states: sympathetic (fight-or-flight) and parasympathetic (rest-and-digest). When we’re overwhelmed, the sympathetic system kicks in, sending us into survival mode—this can look like anxiety, panic, anger, or even feeling frozen or shut down.
This is where Polyvagal Theory comes in. It explains how our vagus nerve—the longest nerve in our body—regulates these responses. Our nervous system has a "window of tolerance," which can be imagined like a flowing river. But when we stray from this window, we enter either hyperarousal (fight or flight) or hypoarousal (freeze). Hyperarousal makes us feel anxious, restless, or angry, while hypoarousal can cause feelings of numbness or shutdown.
When we're dysregulated, our body is giving us important signals that something isn't right. And while it's natural to experience these states from time to time, the goal is to develop tools that help us return to the river—the balanced state where our body can relax and heal.
How to Bring Your Body Back Online
When your body shifts into distress, there are effective tools to regulate your nervous system and bring it back to a state of calm. The key is to activate the vagus nerve, which helps shift your body from the fight-or-flight state back to rest-and-digest mode.
One tool I use regularly—and teach to clients—is deep breathing. By consciously slowing down your breath, you send a signal to your nervous system that you’re safe. One of my favorites is the 4-7-8 breathing technique, which can help calm anxiety quickly.
4-7-8 Breathing Technique
Inhale deeply through your nose for 4 seconds.
Hold your breath for 7 seconds.
Slowly exhale through your mouth for 8 seconds.
If you prefer, try this variation: take a deep inhale, take a small "sip" of air at the top, hold it, and then slowly exhale through your nose. Both methods activate the parasympathetic system, helping to bring your body back into balance.
Another great practice is this vagus nerve-stimulating exercise that I often recommend. You can follow along with this video guide to help reset your body into a parasympathetic state.
My Personal Experience With Stress & Regulation
You might think, as a licensed mental health counselor, that I’m always cool and calm, but I’m just as human as you! In fact, I often use these tools to manage my own stress.
Just the other day, I was shopping at Trader Joe’s and drove around for 30 minutes looking for a parking spot. Finally, when I thought I had found one, another driver swooped in and took it. My body immediately went into fight-or-flight mode—my heart raced, and I could feel the tension building. Thankfully, I turned to my trusty 4-7-8 breathing technique, put on some chill music, and slowly felt myself return to calm.
But it’s not just parking lots that get me! Before interviews, presentations, or even big tests, I often experience a surge of anxiety. My breath becomes shallow, and my thoughts start racing. In those moments, I lean into deep breathing and body awareness to ground myself. This helps me re-engage with my frontal cortex—the part of my brain that allows for clear thinking and decision-making—and step out of that anxious survival mode.
Listening to Your Body: A Powerful Messenger
Our bodies are incredible messengers. When we’re stressed, our body sends signals—tight muscles, rapid heartbeats, shallow breaths. It’s essential to listen and respond to these messages instead of pushing through.
Practices like yoga, ecstatic dance, earthing, or even gentle stretching can help you reconnect to your body in meaningful ways. These activities not only allow you to process stored emotions but also provide a powerful way to release tension. As we move, we create space to let go of what no longer serves us, giving our nervous system the opportunity to heal.
Simple Ways to Regulate Your Nervous System
Here are a few simple yet effective strategies to help you regulate your nervous system and return to your "river of calm":
Go for a Walk: Moving your body, especially in nature, can quickly shift your nervous system from hyperarousal to balance.
Nature Time: Nature is one of the greatest regulators. Even a brief walk outside can work wonders for calming the mind.
Connect with a Friend: Human connection is vital for regulation. Call someone you trust to talk through what you’re experiencing.
Nourish Yourself: Make sure you’re eating foods that fuel your body and keep you balanced. Healthy fats, leafy greens, and staying hydrated can help stabilize your energy levels.
Movement & Stillness: Gentle yoga, stretching, or even meditation can bring awareness back to your body and help process emotions.
Massage Your Neck & Scalp: A simple self-massage can help relieve tension and ground your awareness in your body.
Take a Hot Bath or Shower: The warmth can soothe your muscles and nervous system, helping you relax and reset.
Think of Your Values: When stress clouds your mind, remind yourself of your core values. Align your thoughts and actions with these values to regain focus.
Focus on Your Senses: Ground yourself by engaging your senses—what do you hear, see, smell, taste, or feel? Or try object identification, like spotting circles, squares, or all things orange in your environment.
Connect with Your Wise Mind: Tap into your inner guidance by pausing and reflecting. This practice helps you see things from a calm, balanced perspective.
Repeat an Affirmation or Mantra: Affirmations are a powerful way to center yourself. Try phrases like, “This is hard, but it’s temporary,” “I’m doing the best I can,” “I will make it out of this,” “I can stand this,” or “I am amazing! I am rocking this!”
Finding Balance in the Chaos
Whether it’s through a breathing exercise, a moment of mindfulness, or a walk in nature, you have the tools to regulate your body and nervous system. Remember, it’s about staying in that "river" of calm, even when life feels like it’s pushing you toward the rapids.
I hope these techniques empower you to feel more in control of your body and mind, even in the busiest of times. And remember, you’re not alone in navigating this wild ride of life. Even I, in my role as a therapist, practice these skills daily to stay balanced and grounded.
Trust Yourself, Trust Your Body
By learning to listen to your body, you can better navigate life’s challenges and stresses. When you practice deep breathing, somatic awareness, and movement, you’re not only regulating your nervous system—you’re also building resilience. Remember, your body has the tools to help you feel safe and grounded. Trust in its wisdom.
And as always, if you’re feeling overwhelmed and need extra support, I’m here to help. Reach out anytime for a session or to explore deeper ways of connecting with your body.
Take a deep breath—you’ve got this.
